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By Gregory Burke

Winner of the Meyer/Whitworth Award 2.002, winner of the Critics’ Circle Award 2002 and winner of the Scotsman Fringe First of the Firsts Award 2 zero zero 1, Gregory Burke’s ‘sensational debut play’ (Daily Telegraph) used to be premiered on the Traverse Theatre, Edinburgh, and the Royal nationwide Theatre, London, in 2001, transferred to the humanities Theatre, London, in 2002 and was once revived for a journey of Scotland later that yr.

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Example text

Gary I had tay wait for my moment. Eddie stands staring at Gary. What? Eddie What’s that? Gary What? Eddie (points at Gary’s coat) That? Gary What? ) It’s a coat. ) What? Eddie Nothing. 6 Gary What’s wrong way it? Eddie Nothing. ) Did you get the . . Gary (reaches inside his coat and pulls out a large McDonald’s paper bag which he hands to Eddie) There you go. Eddie (opens the bag and looks inside) Lovely. Gary Did you get the balaclavas? Eddie (puts the bag down on top o f a box. Looks down at Frank) Is he alright?

Pause. Tom M y old boy worked in the yard. Eddie Aye. Tom (moves back to the centre o f the room) He was an accountant. . in the end like. He was a shipwright to trade . . in there all his days . . ended up as an accountant. He took his early retirement too. He’s got a post office now. Eddie What’re the alarms like? Tom He was only fifty-two . . too young to retire. Eddie That’s fuck all. I had a mate took early retirement when he was twenty-four. Tom Twenty-four. zz Eddie It wasnay really early retirement ay .

What’s he daying? Eddie Dying, hopefully. Gary Is he having a fit? Eddie I’m no doctor like . . but my diagnosis is he’s hyperventilating. Pause. 35 Gary It’s a fucking noisy way tay go ay. Eddie Aye. Pause. Gary Better day something. Eddie Aye. Gary Cannay just stand and watch. Pause. Eddie You need a bag. ) Gary (places the bag over Tom's mouth) Come on now . . breathe. Nice and easy. Tom’s breathing begins to return to normal. That’s it. (helping Tom up) Sit up. Tom sits up on a box. You shouldnay have come back for your hat.

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